What is parenting? The definition from Webster’s dictionary is “the care and upbring of a child”. That definition sounds fairly simplistic and yet most individuals who can sit back and reflect on what parenting encompasses will note that it is anything but simple.  Those living out the reality of parenthood can speak to the tremendous challenges and incredible happiness that parenting can bring.

The joys and fears associated with becoming a parent can be very intimidating and can bring about anxiety in some. In addition, those new- to- be parents already dealing with depression and anxiety can attest to the increases in their depression and anxiety during this time because of added stress. This can make things seem very overwhelming. If not, they are likely more aware of their vulnerability due to the added stresses and anticipation.

 Research has shown that many shifts occur within couple relationships after the baby is born. These shifts include dramatically increased conflict, changes in the division of labour and extrafamilial roles and reduced couple companionship and sex. These stresses and strains not only impact the parental relationship and the parent- child relationship but also impact the parents on an individual level in terms of how they can manage their stress and anxiety. Often these concerns are unknown to a couple as they are preparing for their first baby.  They may prepare for how they may adapt with sleepless nights, a baby that may cry for hours, endless diaper changes. Unfortunately, the thought of how their parents’ relationship may be impacted is not considered.

 A preventative program that helps prepare the couple for what is to come in their relationship is part of a recent research study (1) that yielded positive results for the mother’s mental health. This program focused on buffering the parental adjustment by enhancing positive support and coordination in the coparenting relationship).  The research demonstrated the benefit of participating in a program that addresses the changes that might occur in a couple’s life during pregnancy and once their baby is born.  Intervening in the couple relationship has shown benefits on maternal depression and anxiety.

The program focused on helping couples be aware of areas of coparental disagreements through productive communication, problem solving and conflict management techniques. It also emphasized the importance of acknowledging the strains and stresses that many new parents experience. The program provided information on other couples’ skills, facilitated discussion of partner expectations for each other, aimed to minimize the strains of the transition, increased coparental support, and decreased coparental undermining. It also focused on emotional self-management, conflict management, problem solving, communication, and mutual support strategies that foster positive joint parenting of an infant.  Some of the topics included were division of labour, facilitating emotional security, and providing stimulations.  

Not only did this program provide benefits which helped the mother and the father as they worked together to take care of their child but it also had a significant effect on maternal depression and anxiety. A double win! Research has shown that maternal depression and anxiety are related to disrupted parent-child relations, to negative child outcomes and can increases the stress for parents as they try to provide a safe environment for their child. This knowledge is an added stress to the already present stress of becoming a parent and the transition period which can increase those levels of depression and anxiety. It is encouraging to know evidence shows that coparental support or general emotional support from the father is linked to lower maternal depression. As well, research shows that certain psychotropic drugs are not recommended while a woman is pregnant.  Knowing that increased support from the father can decrease levels of depression can be a healthy alternative for many soon to be mothers.

The key here is prevention; to anticipate what may occur and set things in place by improving communication and increasing support and many other things, to help anchor relationships in a firm foundation to ensure the healthy development of every baby.

 

Meagan VanDiermen is a graduate student in the Masters in Counselling Psychology Program at Trinity Western University, Langley, British Columbia

(1)  Feinberg, M.E. & Kan, M.L. (2008). Establishing family foundations: Intervention effects on coparenting, parent/infant well-being, and parent-child relations. Journal of Family Psychology, 22, 253-263.